Phyllis G. Bottamini, 76, a resident for nearly 45 years of Adamant, Vermont, and a National Life retiree, died at Spring Village at Essex, a memory care facility, after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer’s. Her family was at her bedside.
Phyllis was born in Albany, Vermont in February 1942, the daughter of Maynard and Erdine Gonyaw. She attended and graduated from schools in Vermont and then subsequently joined National Life Insurance Company in Montpelier, where she worked in its Investment Department and later in Equity Services for 15 years.
Phyllis was married to Bruce R. Bottamini. The couple would have celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary on May 19.
Those who knew Phyllis quickly learned that she could be spirited, determined, and occasionally feisty, but with a kind and loving heart. Her future father-in-law counseled his son with the words, “You better nab her,” shortly before he proposed to her. Her in-laws thought the world of Phyllis, and the feeling was mutual.
Growing up on a farm taught her the meaning of hard work and self-reliance. Her husband frequently acknowledged that Phyllis’ skills such as putting tire chains on their vehicle on a snowy, slippery winter’s night was far better than his. She even managed to learn how to drive a bulldozer in order to help her brother, Philip, gather sap during one particular sugaring season.
Phyllis was an avid reader during much of her life. She enjoyed snowmobiling with her lifelong friends, Betty Ann and Rachel, and particularly treasured the beauty of her surroundings in Adamant.
In January 1976 she became the proud mother of a son, Brent. She left National Life at that time and was fortunate to become a stay-at- home mother who became actively involved with many of her son’s activities, as well as volunteering with a variety of organizations.
A long-time member of the United Church of Christ, Phyllis served on various church committees and even taught Sunday school. She helped coach a Little League baseball team and put together an annual publication that helped to fund the League.
And as her son grew older, she continued to be actively involved in his activities serving as a score keeper for the high school baseball team, working on building dug-outs, helping to improve athletic fields at U-32 Middle and High School, and perhaps, most importantly, becoming an unofficial mom to so many youngsters she came in contact with through these various endeavors.
Affectionately known as “Mrs. B.”, she had a special way of connecting with children and young adults. She could reprimand a youngster if she felt it was necessary, but at the same time could be highly supportive of them.
A recurrent theme to Phyllis when she was ill was trying to help children who she thought were in danger.
Perhaps Phyllis’ connection to youngsters can be best summarized by the following inspirational quote.
“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove, but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”
For many years, Phyllis was a volunteer at U-32 working in the library and also in the front office. Her ongoing contact with both students and staff at U-32 brought her lasting joy.
She was an especially avid and faithful fan of both the girls’ and boys’ basketball teams at U-32. She loved cheering and encouraging everyone on those teams. While here husband videotaped many of those contests, it was Phyllis who served as his “production engineer” copying and distributing without charge literally hundreds of those tapes (which were narrated by several local radio announcers) to athletes at U-32 and even to players at surrounding schools. It was always hoped that these tapes in later years might provide a special viewing pleasure for not only the players but for their families as well.
This endeavor continued as several area student athletes went on to play for the University of Vermont’s women’s basketball team. It was highly satisfying to her to be able to share these tapes so that all of the members of team could send at least a tape or two to a parent or grandparent who might have been unable to attend games.
In 2010, Phyllis quietly helped support in a variety of ways family members of the Vermont National Guard soldiers who had been deployed overseas. Phyllis was a kind, caring, and compassionate person who would do whatever she could to help a friend or even a stranger in need.
A particularly special joy for her was seeing and visiting with her family, especially her two beloved grandchildren, Jack and Alexandra. Baking cookies, playing hide and go seek, pushing them on their swing set or serving as a traffic cop at the busy intersection of “Kitchen” and “The Family Room” at the Bottamini residence were simple but wonderful sources of enjoyment for her and her grandchildren.
She enjoyed her many journeys to Maine walking the beaches or along the highly scenic Marginal Way in Ogunquit. She never tired of the beauty of the ocean.
Phyllis battled Alzheimer’s with courage and determination. Although the illness affected her memory, she would still frequently greet family and caregivers with a hug, a smile, and a kiss. There were difficult moments to be sure, but her humanity for much of the journey remained very much intact.
Phyllis is survived by her husband, Bruce, who currently resides in Essex Junction, her son and daughter-in-law, Brent and Deirdre Bottamini, her grandson, John, and granddaughter, Alexandra, of Marlboro, Massachusetts, a brother, Ronald, of West Charleston, Vermont, her brother-in-law and his wife, Michael and Diane Bottamini of Essex Junction, Vermont, a sister-in-law, Alice Gonyaw of Westfield, Vermont, and a niece and several nephews. Her brother, Philip, predeceased her in 2014.
There are no calling hours. A memorial service for Phyllis was held at the First Congregational Church of Essex Junction at 3:00 PM on May 12, 2018. A private burial took place in Hope Cemetery in Barre, VT. Ready Funeral Home and Cremation Services have been entrusted with the arrangements. Please visit www.readyfuneral.com to place on-line condolences.
In lieu of flowers, contributions in memory of Phyllis may be made to the Alzheimer’s Association Vermont, 300 Cornerstone Drive, Suite 130 Williston, Vermont 05495 or to U-32, Attn: Booster Club, 930 Gallison Hill Road, Montpelier, Vermont 05602.
Phyllis may perhaps be best remembered by the following verse.
“Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.”
Mary Elizabeth Frye